Sunday, January 31, 2010

Being Selfish

Was having this conversation with my friends about us human being selfish.

Yes, most people detest selfish people. Being selfless is more highly looked upon. But is it possible to be 100% selfless in life?

For me, being selfish to a certain extent is necessary. For instance, when it comes to love, I don't believe in the saying 'if u love someone, it is enough to see him/her happy'. I believe in doing something to make both of us happy.
I believe that in a relationship, love goes both ways. If it only goes one way, then this is only one-way love, it is not a relationship.

I am selfish when it comes to Peter. Peter must only love me alone and no one else. Romantically I mean. Of course he can love Shern, his parents, his friends, etc. Not another woman.
I don't believe in sharing Peter romantically. I am one selfish person when it comes to love.

However, I believe love can be multiplied. Family love for instance. I love Shern as much as I love Peter. I don't love Peter less now that Shern is here. These 2 are different kind of love. Don't ever ask me to choose between them two. No reason to anyway.

We must be selfish enough to defend ourselves. If not, the other person will step over our head and take advantage of us.

Being selfish to a certain extent is practical living. :)


Mindy said...

Strongly agree. This is what I believe, we only live once and I want to live a life being happy with a person who makes me happy and truly appreciates me. If that person hurts me, I'd rather walk away. No point staying around that person when that person is the main source of your unhappiness (which is why I chose to walk away from all my family drama).

I also believe it's okay to be selfish to survive in this world. I do not believe in being unhappy as long as another person is happy. Because when you are unhappy, you'll make the people around you unhappy. (again, talking from experience from all the family drama).

I also don't believe that all love are meant to be forever. When two people are unhappy, they should not cling on to each other and make everybody miserable in the process.

MieVee @ said...

Very insightful post!

I believe in loving myself before everyone else -- as a mother, I must take good care of myself before I can take care of my family. Being a mother is a 24 x 7 job, so I must love myself well. :)

tanshuyin said...

mindy...yes,,,it means a lot to me to do things that make me happy.
i also learned this lesson thru the hard way.

mievee...yes. love urself then love the people around u ;)